Commencing with Relational Grounded Presence, listening in Relational Wholebody Focusing is an attitude of openness & curiosity. This attitude relates to not just to how we listen to others, but also how we listen to ourselves and the space in between us, known as the We space. We open to receive ourselves more fully, receive the other person more fully, and openness to being fully received by another person
Qualities of Listening to Self, Other & the We space in Between
curious
open
inviting
agenda free
trusting
gentle
aware
accepting
neutral
without judgement
patient
wholebody listening for Me and for We
human kindness that can receive all of felt experience
responsive listening as simple human being
Modes of Listening
1) Listen to your partner in a wholebody heartfelt way
from a place of relational grounded presence
receiving wholeness self and the other person in their wholeness
with your mind, your wholebody and your heart
without interruption or planning what you want to say next
allowing the spontaneous arising of relational flow between two fully embodied human beings
flowing with the Client where and how they need me to be with them
2) Wait for there to be a pause in your partner's sharing
reflect back the feeling within your partner's sharing - i.e. 'I can really hear you saying that it was very frustrating for you at work today'
invite your partner to expand on what they're saying some more - i.e. 'do you want to tell me more about that?'
let them know how you are being affected in a bodily way by their sharing - i.e. 'when you said that I really noticed my chest tighten'.
3) Ask if the other would like to hear what arose for you when they were sharing
be open to 'no' and honour the other's request
when you do share how your body life is touched by receiving them, consider whether this will be something of value for your partner to hear, before you offer it; for example, will it open them up further and carry them forward in their own life exploration?
own your sharing in 'I' language - speak from yourself - i.e. 'my experience right now with you have softened my worried mind and tight shoulders...'
do not include any judgment or analysis of the other's sharing, simply be open and accepting
be careful to not use generalisations - i.e.' you always', 'I never'
if what you share back does not fit for the other, let that be ok too